He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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