What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
