careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
