i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
