You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
