Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
