so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
