Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
