I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
