arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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