He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
