either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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