think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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