you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
