Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
