I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
