That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
