at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
