Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
