I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Im part way to drunk.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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