Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
did you just send me my own nude
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
