Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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