he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
