He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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