so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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