U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
