I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
