Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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