I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
