I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
