All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
