so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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