she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
