pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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