Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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