i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
