did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
