bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
