You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The struggles of a small town man whore
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
