Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
