Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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