About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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