I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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