That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
