you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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