question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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