Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
