Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My ATM looks so different sober.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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