i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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