The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
