Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
