Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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