I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
