How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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